Monday, October 04, 2004
Man...was looking thru my organiser and realised how little time I have left before my first pp.
I am scared.
Really.
Sigh. Bad semester. Heavy workload. Personal problems.
Wrong timing for the wrong things at the wrong place.
1st time that I am really worried for the results that I will be getting end of this sem. If not for being a scholar, I seriously will not give a damn abt this. Cos I only have to answer to myself and my parents which is not a very big deal cos I am sure they are understanding enuff. And its not like they have any specific standards for me to meet.
But its SICC that I am afraid of answering to.
I have more than enuff reasons to explain my lack of self-determination and motivation this sem. I dun blame myself. In fact, I am thankful of the fact that I have finally changed my style of studying. No more mugging like crazy as in the previous semesters. Sth that I have always liked to change, but too scared to make that change. Fearful of the consequences that may happen. But, shall I say 'fortunately' enuff, unpredictable circumstances have compelled me to make an effort to change. And so here I am.
Sigh.
I am really startint to panick. But on the other hand, I am, the ever 1st time in my life, procrastinating. Believe it or not, I have never procrstinated in my studies b4. But this sem is totally different from how I used to be.
Good or Bad. Thats not for me to say. It is good and bad in different ways.
I am glad that changes have taken place, but at the same time, sad that things have to change.
Argh.
Wadever.
I have decided to be strict on myself. No more going out man. Gonna be either at the library or home to mug all the way till my last pp.
No more procrastination hear that?
Damn.
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