Wednesday, February 16, 2005
Some emotions/feelings/tots just disappear b4 i cld consolidate it and put them in words.
No written doc for me to savour in the future.
To look back and reminisce the times again.
But ah well.
Everything happens for a reason right.
Anyway.
Not in the bestest of all moods, but heck. Like I can do anything abt it.
And also, colleagues having bbq this sat, and invited me. but too bad, wun be able to attend cos i will prolly be enjoying myself with cheapo shoppping in KL.
I really can feel the discrepancy in me. The me who wants to be the ideal person / role-model. And the actual me who is so unreasonable and demanding.
And when u feel this difference. u begin to detest urself. Like u ve just done sth that betrays ur conscience. Sth that is so morally wrong but at the same time ironically right.
The conflicts.
U start to be disappointed with urself. Din I just promise myself to behave like this? But y am i doing this again? Im such a loser. Im a total failure.
A failure who doesnt deliver wads promised.
Argh.
Argh!
Wadever.
Gonna rest my brain cells for now.
Im tired.
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